Psalm 126:2 :)

Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."

Never before have I felt like I could identify with this verse than this week. I still can’t believe these things actually took place! I’m not making this up!

Just in the last 5 days:

1) At a worship service my back was healed of the aches that began in 2003 when I first began studying for missions.

2) I got a phone call from the “Central Asia” Embassy saying that my Visa is grated and my passport returned to me in less than a week!

3) Found a plane ticket for a ridiculous price.

4) God answered a prayer of mine in a HUGE way before hundreds!

So much anticipation and patience and finally I’m getting through!

The Lord has been speaking to my heart and in many ways aligning me with true Christianity. This week I came to see how religious I have been toward God. I expected him to only do things that look nice and dignified and make sure to not come off as strange or dangerous. But that’s what John the Baptist was. Souls were getting ready for Jesus, being baptized in the Jordan River, listening to a man who claimed to prophesy. We see Bible accounts of people who did not understand, like or condone what John was doing. But he was legit! He was walking out God’s calling on him. But he looked like a freak. This wasn’t a hut civilization that wore unkempt hair, and lived off locust. (Though I think John may have had some sort of Jewish Fro! Ha ha) People wore fine fabrics and braids and ribbons in their hair and ate bread, produce and cooked meat.

To many, Christianity was perceived as strange and dangerous. I think I’ve been short changing myself in my walk because I resist things that don’t fit in my box of comfort. The lid locks from the inside, and God is inviting me to get out. Most of this relates to being afraid/ashamed of what people will think, being misunderstood, being seen as dangerous.

But I realized this week, I want to be like John. I’m not saying my hair, clothes, preference of shelter are going to go tribal, but in my heart I long to be shamelessly obedient to what the Holy Spirit leads and teaches me. Let the lost clearly see that I am a “jar of clay” and that the “all surpassing power is from God” and not from me. That means “all surpassing power” needs to be exhibited in me, for others to see that the jar (my life) is filled with something divine, life-giving, and available to them.

I hope I’m making sense.

Monday December 7^th 2009 I repented of my religious mentality and let go of shame and fear

Tuesday December 8^th 2009 Like many times before, I responded to an invitation for people who had physical ailments, and wanted others to lay hands and pray. My Back was healed.

One person asked: Healed from what? I’m not sure. Stress, Subluxations, Inflammation. It could have been a combination of all three. Or other causes?

All I know is that it started in 2003 after my first term of missions training in Minnesota. Finals and a lot of change must have triggered a new stress level in me, because the pain didn’t result from physical trauma. What I felt was like a vertical column of shrink whapped gravel. Sturdy, stiff, grinding. I began to regularly visit the Chiropractor and I purchased a special foam pillow for $50. This pillow was pretty sweet. Its side portions were designed to support your neck when you lay on your side and the center area was designed with what I call a “neck ramp” and cradled your head and gently supported your neck when lying on your back. Not only did I have the pain, but I had to make sure I used the pillow.

Once I left it in a hotel and hand to turn around back track like an hour because I didn’t want to pay to replace it. My parents can confirm, this but I think after one vacation, we REALLY left it behind, and had it mailed to my house from the hotel! The pillow is dense foam, which means heavy. It’s got a strange shape, which is larger than most normal pillows.

This pillow accompanied me on all travels, including international. Who wants to wedge their belongings into 2 suitcases around a large mass of foam, to move overseas? That’s what I did when I moved to the Philippines in 04. I made myself use it, even in the heat and humidity! (It’s hot in the Philippines, even in the middle of the night!)

Tuesday night, my back didn’t quite feel like a column of shrink wrapped gravel. I’ve described it by comparing it to another set of joints…Have you ever felt like you needed to crack the knuckle of your finger? Have you ever had that sense – but it’s not coming easy, and your range of motion feels limited, and you’re just ready to POW force that thing to crack to relieve the pressure/tension? Well, my lower back felt like that. Quite stiff, not freely mobile, and aching to be moved…but I couldn’t manage to bend, turn or twist in a way that fixed and relieved this. I thought it could use a POW POW POW along the length of it. I went on with things, because the twinges and stiffness were nothing new and stayed at a livable pain level, but certainly no fun.

I sat there Tuesday night and other people came around me. At one point the girl beside me asked if I felt any different. And my answer was, “No, it’s not noticeably different.” So she said, “Let’s pray again”. Most of them prayed silently, and those I could hear were simply asking in a hushed tone, “Father, restore your daughter” “give her the gift of your healing touch”. Nothing dramatic was going on around me, and I didn’t feel fireworks or go into a state of euphoria. I was just sitting, praying, and at one point I decided to rock side to side to see if things were grinding and tight still. And they were. A few minutes later I did the same, but I had to lean farther and realized my pains didn’t show up at the point they normally do. Later when the girl asked how I felt, I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t have a huge response but the words fell out of my mouth as I recalled what the pain felt like and verified with wonder, that things were not how they were when I first sat down. “My pain is gone. I’m able to move freely…” It took a few minutes to grasp that I was healed. Something DEFINITELY happened to me. And I continued to test it, leaning, bending, sitting up straight and even slouching! I’ve asked for prayer so many times, and in 2008 my ability to walk was hindered for almost a week. I asked for prayer then too, but relief only came through a Chiropractor.

I thank God for Chiropractors; God graced me with their assistance on many occasions. But Tuesday night I didn’t get a massage or an adjustment. My pain simply was gone, not replaced with nice feelings, but GONE all the same! How many of us are conscious of our knuckles when we don’t feel discomfort in them? Probably not many. In the same way, I’m not conscious of my back anymore!

After the Lord removed the stiffness and pain, I went to sleep. The pillow, that hasn’t exactly contributed to sparing me from this ailment, was cradling my head when it occurred to me: I MAY NOT NEED THIS ANYMORE! :D so I grabbed a basic pillow, shoved the foam mass off the bed and went to sleep.

I’m still well. My only complaint is that from all my active worship my shoulders and leg muscles are sore (I may or may not have been lifting my hands and spinning around – Charlie Hall – Marvelous Light) :)

Then there’s the Ministry Update:

I was walking though Target Wednesday morning and my phone rings with a 202 area code. The night before I wrote to a friend I haven’t talked to in a while and sent her my cell number. Thinking it was her (Thank God I didn’t think to say something silly! “Domino’s Pizza. Can I take your order?” Ha ha) I answered only to be greeted by a man’s voice. At first I thought it was someone in California, speaking Spanish, who dialed a wrong number when I heard him say, yeeVON KAHdeeNAH? LOL This was a call from the Embassy of “Central Asia” (not the real name) in Washington, DC!!! I slid into the Christmas section where there weren’t very many customers. Thankfully no noisy little saxophone Santa toys were stocked on that aisle! Straining to hear, I began to get a feel for his accent and he told me my Visa was ready! For some reason he began talking about days to get into the country. I was confused and said the letter of invitation bared the date November 27^th. Next he started saying other dates like December 18^th then December 13^th! He was talking about the day I’d get my passport back. I’m tracking the envelope right now and will receive it on Tuesday.

“It’s time to buy a ticket!!!” When I first looked online in August, the average cost was $800 but as the seasons (I'm assuming) affected the fare became somewhere around $600. Lately I've only been able to find $900 - $1200. This morning I was interested in one for $960 through New York. I found a southwest flight for $120 which all together would cost $1080. I was a little bummed because my co-leaders landed a reservation under $800, but I figured $900-$1100 was reasonable since this is just a week in advance, and I have the support to stretch if those where my only options.

Since I was going to have to spend over 1,000 dollars, I decided to look at how much it would cost to make 1 reservation from KC to you guys. And I was delighted to see a $925 flight. I thought I would compare it to the $960 flight just one last time. The MCI (Kansas City Airport Code) to You Guys for $925 page refreshed or disappeared, I'm not sure which. When I tried to find it again, it was gone, so I re-entered my searched and the price that came up was less than $650! Not you're Elite Comfy Time Table, but Bethany didn't train me to be a flight snob. :)

Thursday night I attended an evening worship service. I prayed privately for God to show me, in even a small way, that He still cared for me even today. It sounds silly that I would ask for more assurance, doesn’t it? But that was my heart’s longing that night. “Just show me that you don’t write me off and that I’m not disqualified today.”

During the songs I really sensed the Lord’s presence, stronger than normal. It was like an oily heaviness that brought a sense of rest. After “marinating” in this for a while, I got a nudge to pray for the people who came forward in response to the invitation for prayer. Like a little mouse I weaved through the people praying for this one, and that one. I was just gently resting a hand on their shoulder, and quietly prayed for a few seconds before moving on to the next. From the stage the two MC’s invited people who have a testimony about something God had done in the last couple days to come up for “Rapid Fire Testimonies”. The idea was to get a line of people and give them a few seconds to just state (without the whole life story) something God has worked in them. I waffled for a few seconds, “…should I share about my back? Well, there are so many stories more interesting than mine….Meh, I’ll go anyway.”

Being in the front of the sanctuary already, I was only a few steps from the stage. I thought I was the fourth or fifth person to give my “few seconds” testimony. We were guided to the stage and there were around 20 of us in a line training off the stage. When on stage I looked at the guy behind me who was so animated and seemed like the love of God was coming out of all his pores! “He must have a great story! I can’t wait to hear that one!” I thought to myself. I turned back to the podium and realized that the ones I thought were ahead of me, in line were the two MC’s and a girl who was starting to share into the mic. “Uhhh…I’m not fifth. I’m the very second person!!! GASP!” I’m not sure why it made a difference, but I felt a little more out of place with my little testimony. The girl sharing told of how she was put up for adoption by her real parents, and was adopted into a very abusive family. She’s walked with shame and self-hatred for years, and in a time of prayer, surrounded by people praying for her, her heart became free to see who God made her to be, that she not worthless, but that she is wanted and loved by God Almighty. After she shared, we rejoiced, she was ushered off the stage, and I was waved over.

I stood at the podium with the two MC’s and began to talk about how in 2003 I began missions training, That year I began to have consistent back pain and began going to the chiropractor, even bought a special $50 pillow…Then I got to the part where I’m heading to a cl0sed cou/Vtry, and now I don’t need to carry the bulk of a specialty foam pillow, and with relief from the grinding of my vertebrae. Before I knew it one of the MC’s zeroed in on the “closed country” bit and called up a man who helps lead ministry to the nations. The two MC’s didn’t usher me off the stage. The man came up to the stage was given the mic and lead the whole meeting in praying for me. Even people in line behind me came up to lay a hand on my shoulder or head. They prayed for things like, no intimidation, authority, boldness, prophetic insight, healing to come to others through my hands, and souls to be saved. It was intense. Then the MC asked for the front “altar” area to be cleared and he called for anyone who feels called to the nations to come forward for us to pray for them.

I turned to get off the stage in time to see the whole line of 20 or so “Rapid Fire Testimony” people get escorted away from the stage! I DERAILED THE WHOLE ACTIVITY!!! :/ I felt a little bad that I’ll never hear that kid’s testimony (the one next in line after me), but I was delighted with the focus on ministry to the nationd and yet still in shock that this was even happening! WOW!!!! I left the stage and went to the front area, but the 100 to 200 people who came forward made it difficult to find space. I was turning left and right trying to find a place to wedge myself into to be prayed for too, and people recognized me from the stage, or the large screens (the auditorium can fit like 1,000 people). Some who noticed this inched to the sides, and waved for me to stand beside them!

I found a little nook in the crowd and leaders or just people who have a heart for “Go-ers” came around and began praying for us. A couple people prayed for me, but I realized, “I’ve been Ultra-prayed for! My friends back home and all over are praying for me too! I should go around and pray for others like I was before this whole testimony thing happened.” So I turned to the people who were kind enough to share their spots with me, and I prayed for them. Then I went through the group. My heart was so touched to see all these people from different generations and races who all have this calling in common with me, but are likely not on the brink of going.

I reflected on what the past 12 months have been like, and began praying for them, should they have to experience some of the same things. And this time I wasn’t as self conscious or mouse-ie. Perhaps it’s because I identify with these people, perhaps I felt more confident after being prayed for so powerfully, but this time I was speaking with loud enthusiastic authority for these people’s hearts and the path that’s ahead of them. There were soo many. I was simply floored when I reflected on how many people were being prayed for, because I shared something, that I didn’t think was very interesting or important. The two prayer invitations that preceded a Persian woman’s testimony (the same people group I’m headed for). I caught her as she was leaving the front and told her where I'm headed: to a Persian people! And I asked her to pray for me. God has done and shown this woman amazing things. OH! The way that night unfolded was just AMAZING!

I’m still baffled at God’s ability to shepherd me from one side of a room to the other, so that I was in position to go to be a part of something BIG that would benefit hundreds of people! Not to mention the people watching the web stream and the people whose lives will be impacted by all of these 100-200 people who have a calling to the nations.

I honestly believe that had I heard the “Rapid Fire Testimony” invitation from where I had been sitting, I probably would not have even crossed the auditorium to share in the first place! Later one of the MC’s commented from the stage, "We tried to get through some rapid fire testimonies, but God had a different agenda!" One that none of us saw coming...